Today, my favorite scandalous friend told me, in detail, about her latest exploits. We've been friends for a long time, and she's lost the ability to surprise me. From a covert 3 year long relationship with an employer to to seduction of a man (boy?) half her age, nothing shocks me. This friend, let's call her Ava, has also given me some faulty advice throughout the years, but that's for a whole 'nother post. Today, I want to focus on something Ava said a long time ago, and has probably forgotten.
A:Well, I think I like him, but I don't know.
S: But what?
A: But nothing. everything you say before the word but is a lie.
That got me thinking. Since then, I've continuously conducted my own research into her "but" theory, and I've come to develop a list of things we lie about.
5. I'm going out of town, but I would (guilty!)
4. I'm already working 4 days this week and I can't take any more shifts, but otherwise I would
3. I left my wallet at home, but otherwise I totally would(so guilty!!)
2. I'm a virgin, but maybe next time?
1. Sorry, that was my last piece of gum! But otherwise I would!
So, people, I have you allllllllllllllllllll figured out. I know what's really going on. And you aint foolin' no one with that "born again virgin" story.
