Sunday, December 12, 2010

betrayed by my own stilettos!

Things I learned last night:

5. there's always a way to avoid paying the cover
4. each roommate should carry a key so as to avoid yet another police escort home
3. you should avoid police escorts home whenever possible
2. also avoid sprial staircases while wearing 5'' stilettos
1. if he says he's gay, he probably is
0. if he says he's 35, he really means 50

Friday, December 10, 2010

Confessions from a girl who hates to pay for coat check (but does anyway)

Anyone who knows me knows how much I enjoy complaining about unimportant things within my control. On today's list: clubbing during the winter.

It's so much easier to go clubbing during the spring. For one thing, the outfits are less constricting and we expect less from them. Every season, girls are faced with the dilemma of transitioning their spring and summer party tops and dresses to make it so that those pieces are wearable out during the fall and winter, because let's face it, long sleeves are not an option. So what can we do?Invest in jackets and coats that will be worn only from house to taxi, taxi to club, and club to taxi. Said jacket/coat will cost you an extra $5-$10 per club if you check it like you should (you paid enough for the damn thing. The last thing you need is for some Aeropostale-wearing girl to grab it while it's draped across an empty bar stool!).  I have a pretty, though non-functioning, silk jacket that goes well with mostly everything, but when it's -40 degrees outside, I'm more inclined to wear something with at least lining. So what's a girl to do? Inevitably, you're going to have to bring an extra layer or two, and the more ambitious can even bring scarves and gloves. But you're going to have to pay for it. And you're probably going to forget about them. And then you have to go back to the club during daylight. Which can be really disorienting.

We are also bombarded with propaganda that flats are cute, and acceptable for going out, which leads to the downfall of many an outift. Though never acceptable, flats are sometimes less-unacceptable during the spring.

Tis the season.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

this aint your mama's list of sexy music,

It's mine. And in no particular order, the sexiest songs are:

3. Work Me-The Black Keys
2. Whole Lotta Love-Led Zeppelin
1. Wicked Child-Radiohead

Thank me later!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

blog about it, bitch

There are two reasons I'm writing this. 1. I hope you'll read it. 2. I know you won't.

You have an important event coming up. A sort of pre-graduation ceremony that will show the world what you've accomplished in your extra long stay at college. For weeks I've promised to come. I have already picked out my outfit. Coming to this thing of yours would involve two things: skipping class (which will result in my grade dropping by a third. Don't you hate how professors can do that?) and walking to my least favorite part of campus. But I was willing to do it for you anyway, and cheerfully. But of my countless (countless!) performances, events, etc. in our countless years of knowing each other, have you ever come to one? If you have to ask, the answer is a resounding hell, no. So I'm not coming to yours.

All wit and rhetoric aside, you were a terrible lover and even worse friend. I want my Calvin Kleins back!

Friday, November 26, 2010

The morning after

This morning marks my second morning as a 20 year old. I wish it was still my birthday...
Since coming home, I've picked up some of the books on my shelf that I love, but didn't love enough to pack up and take to the apartment. Not sure why this one was left out, though.

Which reminds me of my (what I like to call) striking resemblance to Billie Piper. What do you think?

I remember getting this book one year from Cheli and how she said I could just have it, because it's the worst book ever. Well Cheli, you are right, but it's one of my top favorite guilty pleasures.

dimanche, le 21 mars
I want so very little out of life, really. All a girl asks for is
  • a haircut that looks the same regardless of wind speed or direction
  • to be smiled back at, by people I smile at
  • shoes that make you look taller, and look nice, and can be used for actual walking
  • for only disabled people to park in disabled spots
  • instant mastery of all things kitchen-related
  • a bit of sunshine now and then
  • a worldwide ban on polyphonic ringtones
  • a worldwide ban on phones which give you no options save a polyphonic ringtone
  • a cessation of all suffering, backdated to the beginning of time

Ah, to be English! Now I am off to go work my first Black Friday (am I supposed to put that in caps?) at White/Black. Think of it as inspiration to graduate college...

Oh and another thing. I am disturbed by husband/wife blogging duos. Scary. 

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

how come Oprah gets to do it?

On my birthday eve, I would like to offer you a published list of my favorite things as well. Oprah shouldn't be the only one with this pleasure!

10. Nars lipgloss in Orgasm
9.  Nahari silk veils for belly dancers
7. Stella McCartney running shoes (even though I'm not a runner...)
6. Club soda with lime
5. Hot yoga
4. Growing a mint plant
3. Midsummer Night's Cream from Trader Joe's
2. Fish tacos from San Juan Cafe (and the guacamole)
1. 2011 Cadillac STS

And an honorable mention goes to: Robin's Jeans with the angel wings on the back...

my first time

So a few things today. My birthday so far has been better than any other birthday. Thanks to Patrick darling for the Frederic Fekkai set, henna kit, evening massage (Josh Lentz is one of the best masseurs in 910), spa morning (Steffanie Mahon at Ki was grrrreeeat) and lunch at Our Crepes and More (go there if you haven't. the charming Frenchman should be reason enough, but the crepes are delicious)

Got the new Girl Talk CD also and it's pretty good. My favorite is Let it Out.  get it at

Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I'm excited to bring my Hanae and Tom to experience a rill dill American tradition. I'm already prepared. You know what I mean....