Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Tall, hot stranger

Was in the post office again today (Damn you Nordstrom! Why must you always take so long!?) when I was accosted by a tall, hot stranger. Well, actually, I was not accosted and according to him, he is not a stranger. Read further.

Standing in line at the post office is about as fun as, well, standing in line at the post office. Therefore, the opportunity to indulge in something fun during my time there is always welcome. And as you know, the opportunity to feel like a celebrity is also just as welcome (if not more!). Read further.

The line was long. There were at least six people ahead of me and at least two of them were in stretch pants, which caused me to tilt my head to the side and contemplate the phenomenon that is stretch pants. Mid- thought, I felt a hand on the small of my back. I turned around instinctively, and let the image of this chiseled man behind me replace the image of stretch pants. Before I had time to assess the situation, he asked how I'm doing.
"Fantastic, and you?" I said. My usual response.
"Good, good" he said. Must be his usual response too.
"How's school going?" he followed.
"Oh, man. School is school!" I replied. I am an educated woman with great improvisational skills. Is "school is school" really the best response I could come up with? Ugh.
"Still dancing?" he asked.
Waaaaaaaaait. This is too specific. He must know me. Up until this point, I thought he had me confused with someone else, but couldn't make my brain and mouth connect enough to point this out. Now I was just hoping the expression on my face didn't betray me. I had no idea who this man was, but was happy to continue this conversation a little while longer. The line moved and we shuffled forward.
"Of course, and I have a few shows coming up" I said. "You should come."
AHH Sarah! Why why why? Now you've really done it.
"Yeah definitely", he said (also the usual response when I tell people to come see me dance. You know who you are.) "Send me the information on facebook."
I promised the hot stranger that I would facebook him the details and we continued to shuffle forward in line. The back of my neck was prickling and I started to feel flustered, but we'd gotten too far in the conversation for me to admit that I couldn't put a face with a name.
We hadn't said anything else by the time I reached the counter, and I couldn't think of anything to say as I turned to walk away. My plan was to saunter away casually, and hope that my nervous energy came off as confident and flirty (hey, that plan has yet to fail me). As I passed by, he said "See ya, Sarah", and waved.
I smiled without showing teeth (it makes your eyes look bigger. Use this move when you need a boost of sex appeal), and didn't return the wave. My trademark move. 
By the time I got to my car, I still hadn't made the connection between him and any part of my life. And as I write this, I'm still just as confused.

So, handsome stranger, if you are reading this, please make yourself known. And if not, well...a little mystery never hurt anyone. But don't be offended if you don't ever get that invite.
A little advice from yours truly.

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