Monday, January 31, 2011

The Lion, the Witch, and Your Unfortunate Wardrobe

I've seen you there before, Scrunchie Girl. It seems that we're always at the gym at the same time, and you're usually in some strange outfit. But you really outdid yourself today.  The first thing I noticed was that you were reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe while doing cardio. Next, I noticed your hair trying to escape from your ever-present scrunchie. Then I saw it. You were wearing jeggings. At the gym. There is a time and a place for jeggings, and we all know this. Going to the gym, however does not fall under the list of Times You Can Wear Your Jeggings. To make it easy for you, I will give you the actual list.

The List of Times You Can Wear Your Jeggings
by: Sarah
  • When wearing boots
  • When wearing flats (if you are tall and thin and the jeggings are disguised as actual jeans-otherwise no)
  • When going out
  • When going to class
  • Generally, when going anywhere pants are required
So now that you have this list, I trust you will print it out and post it to your door, Scrunchie Girl. And not only your door, give a copy to the roommate who let you out of the house wearing jeggings, a scrunchie, fuzzy socks covering your ankles, and a Taylor Swift t-shirt to the gym. You wanna know why your face was so red? It's not because you were working particularly hard on that stairmaster. It was because your body was trapping heat from all that spandex and poly-blend faux denim!!

So wear your jeggings with caution and leave the scrunchies at home, or I will be making fun of you on the treadmill.

Don't let this be you.

1 comment:

  1. this should also be dedicated to the girl who wore the "Mrs. Darcy" tee.