Monday, January 3, 2011

The Thong Diaries

Was at the gym the other day, minding my own business on the elliptical, when who gets on the treadmill in front of me but Miss VPL herself. I'm not sure if I need to explain this acronym, or if anyone reads this blog besides Austin (thanks Austin, you've always been such a great supporter of all things S), but the VPL stands for Visible Panty Line. I put those words in caps because it is a situation that deserves the attention of capital letters. Speaking of situations that deserve capital letters, I have decided to compile a list of Things that are Painful to Watch.

Things that are Painful to Watch
by: Sarah

10. Anyone over the age of 15 admit to being obsessed with Justin Beiber or his affiliates
9. Youtube videos of ordinary people singing acoustic versions of top 40 hits (Alanis Morissette did it with My Humps and that was okay, because that was funny and no one had really done it before).
8. Boy in cardigans. Boys in cardigans and v-necks. Boys in cardigans, v-necks, and fedoras. Boys in cardigans, v-necks, fedoras, and skinny jeans. Boys in cardigans, v-necks, fedoras, skinny jeans, and keds. With a scarf tied around the neck. Almost covering up the knock-off wayfarers dangling from said v-neck.
7. Anyone try to convince me that "this bag is real!"
6. Girls rifle madly through the $3.99 bin at Victoria's Secret
5. A girl's hair straightened into submission, relentlessly trying to fight through the anti-frizz serum and hairspray, and unleashing little wispies around the forehead
4. Anyone get a tattoo of a quote by an author they've never actually read before
3.Guys walking around with a giant gold sticker visible under the brim of their hat (someone please explain this to me)
2. Anyone in velour. In public.Or ever.

 And the number one Most Painful Thing to Watch is, of course...

1. You, going about your business, fully unaware of your VPL!

shame on you.

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